Hollywood continues to disappoint...and I've found something better.
I watch a lot of movies. A LOT. I've been a fan of the big screen, and especially big screen horror, since I was a child. That hasn't changed. I get as excited today about a new movie that piques my interest as I did when I was five. And ten. And sixteen...you get the idea. The action. The excitement.
The monsters.
I was about four or five when I saw The Stepford Wives; the first horror movie I can remember seeing. I was young, it was very late at night, and the film was the second showing at a local drive-in theatre. The first was The Reincarnation of Peter Proud, which I found tepid even then. It was assumed I'd fall asleep before the real chills showed up on the big screen, and I did fall asleep during the first feature (as I said, tepid), but by the time Katherine Ross began to realize something was amiss in the little town of Stepford, I was wide awake and taking notice. I'll never forget the scene where she accidentally stabbed Paula Prentiss with a kitchen knife and Prentiss started stuttering, repeating herself, and largely coming apart in damaged robotic fashion.
That film, I think, is where my love of horror movies began. It also introduced me to Ira Levin, whose novels I devoured when reading became so important to me shortly thereafter (I read The Amityville Horror when it was still #1 on the Bestseller lists...that was 1977-78, which made me all of 8 or 9 at the time), but this is about movies, most notably horror movies...and the substance they lack in Hollywood today.
When was the last time a horror movie out of Hollywood really frightened you? What recent frightfest really intrigued you? What was the last film you even found particularly good? Jason, Freddie, and Michael Myers were always good for a scare. But that was decades ago, before they decided all those slashers should be silly as well as deadly. For me, with the exceptions of the recent remake of Stephen King's It and the Chloe-Grace Moretz driven vampire film Let Me In, I have to say damn few. I'll include The Possession, the first Paranormal Activity, the first Insidious, and the first Sinister as well. Not because I found them particularly scary but because they were at least something I hadn't already seen a dozen times before.
And that, I think, is the recent problem with Hollywood. They produce sequel after sequel without a note of originality, and they re-boot, re-make, and regurgitate the same premise over and over again until we're all sick of it. Think I'm wrong? Take a look at the films I mentioned above. While Stephen King's It surpasses the 80's mini-series for scares, it's still a remake. And there a now 6 Paranormal Activity movies. 4 Insidious films. And 2 Sinisters. That's 9 sequels total. At a national average of over $9.00 a movie ticket, if you've watched all those films, Hollywood has conned you into paying to watch what is essentially the same movie over and over again at whopping total of over $81.00. And if you bought them on Amazon, VuDu, or another streaming service, it's closer to $135.00.
Now I didn't begin this as a diatribe on the cost of watching horror movies. Rather, I began this as a diatribe on the lack of quality of those films. Seen Winchester yet? It's touted as being a fact-based film about the most haunted house in America. If that sadly directed, starred, and conceptualized film represents a true American Haunting, we've nothing to worry about from the dead. How about Mother!?
It's not only not scary, but it's not even interesting. I could go on...Amityville:Awakening was horrible. As was Day of the Dead:Bloodlines, Truth or Dare, Wish Upon...the list goes on and on.
I'd begun to think it was me. I've seen so many horror movies that nothing scares me, much less interests me, anymore.
Then I rolled the dice on a Netflix production one evening. "What the hell," I thought. "The crap on there can't be any worse than the crap Hollywood's been serving up for the last 20 years." And my, oh my, the things I've been missing. Here's a brief synopsis of just a few:
The Devil's Candy.
It's a familiar premise. Family moves into a new house where the artist father can concentrate on his work and all hell breaks loose. Oh, but Pruitt Taylor Vince, who plays innocent and kind hearted equally as well as evil and sadistic, outdoes himself in this one. He's already killed his family and several children, and is driven by voices to kill the girl now living in what was once his home. The soundtrack to this one is pure heavy metal, a nice change of pace over the haunting strings, organs, and chorales used in most horror films. If I were a critic, I'd give this one five stars.
Death Note
A teenage boy stumbles on a notebook (it literally falls in his lap) in which any person's death he describes in writing therein is set in action by a demon. Does he vanquish his enemies? Of course. But then he decides to put an end to criminals and terrorists worldwide. This one surprised the hell out of me for it's sheer audacity. Brilliantly filmed and scripted, the surprises (and bloodshed) just kept coming and coming. And who better to voice a demon than Willem Dafoe? Another five stars.
The Ritual
Another familiar premise. Four friends go hiking in the wilderness. This time in Sweden. Then all hell breaks loose. This one was engaging, the characters interesting, the music perfect for the film. The we see the monster. Wow. Certainly one of the most original monsters I've seen in a long time. The team behind this production needs to produce more. Again, five stars.
Veronica
The old 'don't mess with a Ouija board' premise. And the best I've seen of those based on the idea. As usual, an adolescent girl starts screwing around with things better left alone and invites evil into her life. And the lives of her family. Maybe the appeal is that the film is foreign and the girl lives in Madrid in 1991, and thus, unexpected (to our culture) things are bound to happen. But I think it's the fine acting. The real terror conveyed by those on the screen. I give this one four and a half stars. I'm taking off half a star because I had to read subtitles.
I'm also a huge fan of campy horror films. Killer Klowns From Outer Space and The Toxic Avenger are two of my all time favorites. Netflix offers a few of those as well. Most notably:
Better Watch Out
Home Alone meets The Strangers in one of the best Christmas themed horror films of all time. The kids from M. Night Shayamalan's The Visit star in this shocking, surprising, bloody send up. Five stars.
The Babysitter
So your hot babysitter is a devil worshipper and you're her next sacrifice. How can you go wrong with that? Four and a half stars.
Of course, I love a good binge watch as much as the next person, so I'll mention two series I've found intriguing. Stranger Things goes without saying, so I'll not include it here other than to say that if you haven't watched it despite all the hype (and it really is deserving of all of it) you probably won't just because I suggest it.
Dark
This is a German made TV series so don't be surprised at the subtitles. You'll forget all about that in short order anyway. A young boy goes missing, just as another did 35 years earlier. That being said, there's little I can tell you without ruining any of the multitude of surprises throughout the season other than there's a wormhole under the town that's really screwing with four families that are trying to figure out just what the hell is going on. This one is Sci-Fi/Horror, and well worth the watch.
Lost in Space
Not horror, unless you consider being stranded on an alien planet where anything could possibly happen, especially things you can't even imagine. A definite re-boot, but a damn good one. And Parker Posey as the evil Dr. Smith is a twist I never expected.
So, in short, goodbye, Hollywood productions. Until you can get your head out of your collective rehashing of old movies, tired plots, bad directors, and worse actors; coupled with your increasingly stale reliance on superhero and Star Wars films (all of which are carbon copies of each other once you get past the slick special effects) for ticket sales, I'll consider all of your creative muses dead and put my dollars on Netflix, or Hulu, or Amazon, where I can watch something new.
Maybe you should all join me.
